Monday, July 28, 2008

nobody said it was easy.

for all the time i've been wondering if...

it's easy for you to move on.
it's easy for you to wake up without thinking of me.
it's easy for you to go to sleep without thinking of me.
it's easy for you to lead your life without thinking of me.
it's easy for you to have nobody tapping your back.
it's easy for you not to think of us.

because as for me, it was never, it has never been any easier.

i once told myself not to fall into any more fuckwittage. i once made a wish to my eyelashes that we will work out. i once thought that where've you been all the while.

it came fast, like how it left us.

nobody said it was easy.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

revived.

i read through some of my old posts, it's been almost a year eh? i dunno if this current one will even last, but i will try.

havent been sleeping well recently, maybe this long break from camp kind of interrupts my inner clock already, maybe my insomnia is hacking me back, maybe im in need of a change in my sleeping position, maybe there's too many things in mind that constantly run about and never seems to exhaust myself out, maybe maybe i should just not sleep at all.

on a heavier note, jeanette will be flying off this sunday, and i told myself i so need to send her off, to think that the last time we were in the airport together - our last BKK trip two years back. the thing, as you mentioned, between us ridicules our friendship so much. to make it worse, i went past upp thomson and popped by dubs last week which definitely (and unavoidably) stirred up the past. don't we just reminisce in fond memories easily? but not as easy when things aren't the same anymore. it's been so over at times that we shouldn't weigh out the fault, but im still sorry if it's ever partially mine. i was practically losing everything, everywhere and everyone. was attempting very hard to hold on to my bearings. trust me, everything's getting better every now and then. i guess it's over that dull period of time, we start afresh by ourselves and ponder alot of stuff.
all in all, remember how we always say this, there's always this part of me that is you, that i hold it so close to my heart. it's still there, fyi.
i wish you all the best in Australia, especially for your well-being and studies. study hard and play harder (cliche it may sound and i know you'll do that too)

love from dubs
ethan.